Finesse for project managers

Many people cite finesse as an essential skill for successful project management. While finesse can represent several different behaviors, here are examples of how project managers can deploy finesse while delivering projects.

Make it their – and your – idea. I’ve often heard the advice that good stakeholder management involves making other people believe your idea is theirs. I agree with some of the premise, but pushing your ideas onto others can be tiring for stakeholders. And, working to make it seem all your ideas belong to others is hard work, can be interpreted as deceptive, and is disingenuous. Rather than making others believe your ideas are theirs, focus on building a collaborative idea. Share a concept and ask your stakeholders if they can build on it or envision how it might be deployed in their business. Then, come up with the complete, most feasible idea together. This inspires teamwork, recognizes your and your stakeholder’s expertise, and reduces the chance of relationship-harming disingenuous communications.

Talk about risks unless they’re clearly issues. Definitions are needed here. I define a risk as something that has a probability of happening and an impact if it happens, but it has yet to occur. An issue is something that has already happened and needs to be dealt with. Given that, there is room for finesse in discussing this topic. One way to turn a stakeholder against your project is to say, “That is a problem (or issue),” when a problem has yet to surface. Doing so will appear to be rejecting a stakeholder’s thought or belief. Instead, ensure you understand what your stakeholder is talking about and ask about potential risks. This open communication not only surfaces risks the stakeholders can think through but also makes them feel more secure and informed, thereby strengthening the project’s foundation.

Sound like your stakeholders (or maybe the opposite). Groups often are not relatable to outsiders because they don’t speak similarly, even when using the same language. As project managers, we can experience the issue where stakeholders don’t understand what we are discussing. To reduce this risk, it’s crucial to listen to and use your stakeholders’ vocabulary. If they focus on risks or finances, adopt the same focus when talking with them. This not only helps in effective communication but also makes them feel more connected and in tune with their needs. However, while finesse usually calls for you to sound the same, sometimes you should sound much different. For example, the person always discussing finances might overlook project benefits that aren’t directly related to the next quarter’s financial picture. Speaking about that, versus emulating the financial language your stakeholders habitually deploy, can emphasize the project’s benefits that would otherwise be underappreciated.

Forget influence – invite fact-based sharing. I’m often asked about the best ways to influence stakeholders. To be blunt, I believe this is outdated thinking. Asserting influence implies that you are right and others are wrong and need to change their thinking. Who is to say the opposite isn’t the case? There could be (and likely is, to a degree) information your stakeholders have that you don’t have, which could alter your thinking. So, rather than try to influence, Utilize a different tactic and approach stakeholders with an invitation to share facts and opinions. Start by sharing what you are trying to optimize and invite your stakeholders to discuss that optimization and the benefits you hope to realize. Share a thought or two and ask your stakeholders to do the same. Continue this idea and fact-sharing until you believe everything relevant is on the table. Then, together, look at the collection of facts and thoughts and derive the best way forward. If your perceptions were correct, take the action you believed was best. If you learn something new, then you might take a different direction. This produces the best outcomes and supports a spirit of collaboration that project managers should always embrace.

Focus on what ISN’T being said. Careful listening can provide valuable information. Here are two examples. First, you can figure out the root cause of a passionately raised issue. Does that passion come from a fear of business risks or a fear of change? You will rarely get the answer directly, but you’ll likely figure it out by listening carefully to what isn’t being said. Listen for a lack of substance or ties to problems with business processes as an indicator of a fundamental fear of change. The second is…dealing with silence. Rarely, and I mean rarely, is silence an indication of “no news is good news.” No news is often horrible. Carefully examine what is happening in areas of the project where silence is present. You may have disengaged stakeholders or, worse yet, opponents, silently looking for opportunities to undermine the project.